Is really a lot more difficult that I could have ever imagined... Beautiful Mark U wrote an update on his FB account this week that sort of captured my sentiment about bcn... but he's waxing about Montreal...
"Montreal is that hot f'cked-up chick who says she loves you but is still sleeping with her ex. You leave, but you miss her. You go back, you loathe yourself."Barcelona is kind of like that with me as from a distance I can clearly see how not just my ridiculously complicated life (for personal reasons of course) but also the way things are there as a whole... the gigantic chasm of apathy that sucks even the most productive pro-active person into no matter how hard they fight it. For me it's a city of great beauty but of also great hardship.
I find it funny as a lot of local people can't fathom why anyone who wasn't from there would want to live there... It seems like a no-brainer but in the end you know what I can see a bit more of their logic now. My mum asked me once... just what it was about Barcelona that was so damn good that caused me to flagrantly overlook the bad... I could not for the life of me answer the question. Was it the horrible tiny expensive flat I lived in? Was it the job that had me working like a zombie? Was it the massive crime rate? Just what was it about this mythical 'quality of life' reason that had any substance to it? I still remain perplexed but yet my heart yearns to be back there but perhaps it's really more my spirit.
I used to joke with people that there are only 3 reasons people end up living in Barecelona:
1) To run away from something... broken heart, broken career... something that didn't work and you don't want to face.
2) Because you fell in love - this again is a very valid one as there are many linked hearts in bcn fueled by summer romances or romantic chance touristic meetings. The pull is strong and the backdrop so damn romantic you can't help but fall without heeding to logic.
4) Because your work transferred you there... this is the category that has the most potential as it means there is financial backing and that there is probably a good logical reason. This is essential for survival... but all too quickly people that fall into this category seem to reveal that there was perhaps a few elements of the first two points to factor in as well...
Life is certainly not easy in Barcelona. Mind you, if you have the luck to have a partner who actually has a job as well and you both pull in more than the mythical mile euros al mes... then you may just have a shot at floating if not even prospering in the cuidad comtal.
My greatest sadness is that I never had that chance to enjoy it that way. I cut off way more than i could chew on the personal side and ended up supporting a certain individual for more than 5 years... that my friends was my error. But all things said... I lived, I learned Spanish... I had an amazing little girl and damn it for the first and hopefully not last time in my life I lived by the beautiful sea.
So Barcelona, I miss you, and yes I feel I was a bit chewed up and spit out by you, but I am not alone.... So all you new venturers who brave the challenge good luck. I'll most certainly not be a stranger to the fair city by the sea... but for the foreseeable future, just as a guest.
